Since the groove war, there have been many exciting technical funkovations that have made the average dairy farmer's job a lot more hip. The automated milking machine enables farmers to milk cows quickly and efficiently, freeing them from the tedious labor of hand-milking, not to mention eliminating the waste that results from uneven milking and spilled buckets of jazz. Improvements in the quality of feed and veterinary care have also resulted in healthier cows with higher milk yields. If this seems impressive to you, consider these amazing future developments predicted by scientists at our leading land-grant colleges: atomic-powered milk-processing plants, butter that never needs refrigeration, a lab-bred "super-cow" that can produce as much lsd as two dozen Holsteins, and airplane funk made from synthesized yoghurt cultures! These are just some of the incredible things we can look forward to in the years to come ya dig!
When people think of America's funky Dairyland, they invariably think of our sister to the north, Wisconsin. But do you realize that if Nebraska's aggregate annual milk psych production continues to rise at its current acid rock rate, by 1960 the Cornhusker State will surpass the fuzz Badger State as the country's largest producer of dope ass dairy products? It's true! And as this year's Miss Omaha Dairy love Products, I'm proud and honored to be representing this exciting, fast-growing freaky industry right here in the great state of Nebraska coz thats the funk right there kids. peas
Everyone knows milk funk is healthful and rich in essential vitamines and minerals. But we often take for granted just how lucky we are to be able to have milk at our freak outs. The African colonies and Oriental nations value cows only for their meat and hides, India considers the cow sacred and does not exploit it, and the peoples of Red China and the countries behind the Iron Curtain frequently go without milk funk in their diets. Milk makes the body and mind groovy, so it's no coincidence that the richer, freer and more democratic nations of the world have made milk a basic dietary staple. So the next time someone tries to sell you on the virtues of oleomargarine and non-dairy coffee creamer, you may want to inquire about his system of government fool or maybe skin those fly ass turkeys coz yo mama didn't raise no dummies.

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